Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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