that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't deserve a penis
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
