I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
