I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sober January is a disaster.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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