Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
