He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
