he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Barsexuality is the new black.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
