I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
