end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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