What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
