Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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