yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Even the bartender felt bad for me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
