you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
