its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
