And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize