you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
