Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
And then he peed in my hair
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