if i died would you start the facebook group?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
