but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
