do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
well most of my day revolves around power hour
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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