No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
