the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
