So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
