You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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