we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
