I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
