physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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