Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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