and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize