dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
As shirtless as possible
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
