I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
