That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
