every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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