Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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