Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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