Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize