I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
