I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize