Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
