called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
