Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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