but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
