I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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