well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
