just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize