help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
