she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
