I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
