Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
