Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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