I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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