Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
