i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
