So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
