How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
