So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
