can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
