Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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