Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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