shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
