You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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