This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
